Concept of consent , curriculum and children

As a woman, as a girl's mother , I get really worried whenever I read or watch the news of stalking and related fatal attacks. And in recent years, these incidents are increasing more and more. What is happening to our boys?? Why can't they understand NO means NO??  How can we protect our girls? Can being brave or knowing martial art skills protect a girl at such moments? If one crazy person gets obsessed and decide to take revenge, whether it is planned or on the spur of the moment, is there anything any person can do against that?  Recently in many cases, the stalking was reported to police and police either warned or arranged compromises between both parties, then the attack happened. Or even if it was properly handled , wont it stimulate the thirst of revenge more? There are cases where even police woman fell victims to such attacks.. To be frank, there is no definite answer to how to handle such situations.

What is more alarming is the response of society to such cases. Even from my close circles (including women ,even from my generation) , I hear comments blaming the victim, she might have done something to encourage him or blaming her extrovert behavior or dressing. Otherwise why this happened only to her , not to the other obedient girls etc.. The word I hate most is "Theppu" . Even if they were in a relationship, don't they have the freedom to step back if things are not working? 

The main point is our children are never taught the concept of consent. It is never taken as a priority. In all our folktales or films, it is glorified when hero pursues heroine to the end. It is taught that when a girl says NO, its only because of shyness. You need to pursue her continuously till she says YES. Eventually she will say yes. Everyone, including me, used to enjoy such stories and bask in such dreamy fairyland. Nobody notices anything wrong with it. 

This is what needs to be changed. We need to be extra cautious while even watching films or reading stories which glorifies stalking or any such obsession. It might not seem a big deal, but this is what unknowingly plants the thought in boys mind that this is how they should be pursuing a woman.. and even in girls mind , that this is okay, that is the normal behavior of boys. hence the concept of consent should be incorporated in curriculum from young age consciously. 

What triggered me to pour these thoughts here is the cringy feeling I felt when I was teaching my daughter the portions from 5th standard English literature book. I am not sure if all ICSE schools follow same book, but her book definitely had two stories back to back. And guess what - in both stories , the hero forcefully take the heroine away against her will, retains her how much ever she refuses to accept him,  but in the end- the heroine accepts the fate , willingly or not.  The stories are picked from Roman and Burmese folktales. This just shows  how careless the authorities are while arranging curriculum for

small children ,considering one of the stories even had an uncle and his niece as the leads. 

This is just an example. I need not name, but most of our favorite blockbusters do glorify this kind of obsessive behavior.  Till we alienate such notions from our curriculum and culture, I don't think at least our future generations will be safe from such incidents.   Till then , let us try to educate our children consciously ,both boys and girls,  that this is not normal. We cannot avoid such films or folktales ,but whenever we come across such stories, let us explain to our kids this is not correct or normal. Let us take these stories as an opportunity to teach our boys to respect the consent and let us teach our girls the importance of consent. 

Last, but not the least, I would like to leave one link which explains what is consent. 

Tea consent

And I would like to conclude this article by below screenshot- Cant explain any better!!!

Note: Thanks to my friend Anu who shared these materials with me - These are what made the concept clear for me, hope this helps you too.